One Year later…Saying Goodbye to our Dog

Hello Everyone. As you know, last year we lost our beloved Zeus. It was/is by far the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I still cannot believe he is gone. He is gone and will never return for us to cuddle with him, tease him, give him smooches or watch him devour his favorite treat. During this last year, I have had to explain to people that he wasn’t just a dog or a pet, he was my best friend, my partner in crime, my buddy, my companion, my roommate, my dependent and most of all my family. People who don’t feel the same way about their pets have a hard time comprehending why I am having such a hard time getting over Zeus’ passing. I, myself often wonder why I can’t just move on. I think part of me feels the only way he can live is if I never stop thinking about him. He may be dead physically but he is alive within my memory. There are days I catch myself not thinking about him and I feel guilty and rush to watch an old video or pictures of him so that the memory doesn’t fade. I am not sure if this is healthy for me but maybe this is my path for now. Here is video I did of my Zeus.

While Zeus has been gone, we still have our loving Zoey. Zeus and Zoey were born in the same foster home and came to me when they were both 2 weeks old. They were adopted together and spent every minute of everyday of their lives together until Zeus died. During this last year, I have been so saddened by Zeus’ passing that I often forgot that I still have Zoey to love. I never stopped to think what she may be going through. She lost a big part of herself too when Zeus died. This past weekend, a good friend brought it to my attention that I need to acknowledge that I still have Zoey. I need to love her and live in the present with her. I can still morn Zeus but I need to realize that I still have Zoey who will forever be part of Zeus. Isn’t it weird that sometimes we get so caught up in what or who we don’t have that we forget what or who we do have?

Zeus and Zoey as babies.

Zeus and Zoey all grown up

My Mila has had a really hard time understanding what happened to Zeus. It’s been a year and this clever 4 year old still talks about Zeus at least once a day. Her little mind thinks that Zeus is still at the doctor’s and will come back once he gets better. She hates bees now and gets over-protective of Zoey because she thinks it was a bee that bit Zeus and got him sick. She has become extremely close to Zoey and unlike me, she can see that although Zeus isn’t here, we have Zoey to love. She would often say, “mommy, don’t be sad, you know we have Zo- Zo girl here, right?”. Crazy how children can be so much more aware of things we as adults are often blind to!

Well, as we end Zeus’ first year not being on earth, we celebrate Zoey’s 8th birthday with us. Zeus would have been 8 years old as well. It saddens me that he isn’t  here to get his yearly meatloaf birthday cake I made for him every year. However, per Mila’s request, we are going all out for Zoey this year. We threw her a “super de-dupper” birthday party!

Mila loaned Zoey her Elsa crown. We honored Zeus. His pictures and collar were present. We told stories and watch old videos of him and Zoey. Zo-Zo got a huge steak for dinner and a loofa stuffed toy, which we went outside and tossed for hours:-). She got  help blowing out her candles from Mila and off course Mila chowed down her cake for her.

Thanks to you all for being part of our online friends community and sharing in our journey. If you have lost a pet and going through the same thing as us, know that you are not alone. Love you all,